If your sex drive has dropped (a sign of low libido), you’re not alone. Low libido is common in middle-aged men, and it rarely has just one cause. Desire can rise and fall with sleep, stress, health changes, and even what’s happening in your relationship. It can also shift across seasons of life, like after a new baby, during a tough work stretch, or with aging.
Libido is simply your low sex drive, your interest in sexual activity. This post covers the common causes of low libido in men, from body and health factors to mental, emotional, and relationship issues, plus practical next steps you can take without guessing. If the change is sudden, severe, or comes with other symptoms of low libido, it’s smart to check in with a clinician.
Body and health causes of low libido in men
A lot of men assume low libido is “in their head,” but the body plays a big role. If your energy is low, your hormones are off, or sex has started to feel physically harder, desire often fades as a protective response.
A helpful mindset is to think of libido like a car’s dashboard light. It doesn’t tell you exactly what’s wrong, but it does tell you to look under the hood. For a broad medical overview of low sex drive and what may contribute to it, Mayo Clinic Health System’s guide to low libido is a solid starting point.
One important safety note: if low libido comes with chest pain, shortness of breath, fainting, or major new fatigue, get urgent medical evaluation. Sometimes the bigger issue isn’t sex drive, it’s heart or lung health.
Low testosterone and other hormone problems (thyroid, prolactin)
Testosterone affects sexual interest, but it’s not the only hormone involved, and low testosterone can play a key role. Thyroid problems can slow your body down and flatten desire. High prolactin can also interfere with testosterone and sexual function.
Common clues include:
- Lower energy and drive, not just in bed
- Fewer morning erections
- Mood changes (irritable, down, “flat”)
- Reduced muscle, more body fat, or slower recovery from workouts
Only a blood test can confirm a hormone problem. Timing matters because testosterone follows a daily rhythm, so clinicians often test testosterone levels in the morning; consider seeing a urologist for this evaluation. Sleep loss, recent weight gain or loss, heavy drinking, and some medications can all shift hormone levels, so it’s worth mentioning those during a visit.
What helps, in simple terms: treat the root cause (like thyroid disease), improve sleep, and review meds. Testosterone replacement therapy or other hormone therapy is not a DIY decision and should be guided by a clinician.
Chronic conditions that drain energy and blood flow (diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, chronic pain)
Desire depends on the basics: circulation, nerve function, and steady energy. Chronic illness like type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease can affect blood flow and nerves, which can change arousal and confidence. Chronic inflammation and excess body fat can also shift hormones and reduce motivation.
It’s also common for erectile dysfunction and low libido to overlap, but they’re not the same. A man can have strong desire with erectile trouble, or low desire with normal erections. Still, each problem can feed the other. If sex starts to feel uncertain, stressful, or physically uncomfortable, your brain may stop “initiating” interest.
Chronic pain is a big one. Pain steals attention, disrupts sleep, and makes touch feel risky. Even the fear of symptoms during sex, like a racing heart, shortness of breath, or back pain, can quietly shut down desire.
Medications, alcohol, nicotine, and other substances
Many prescriptions can lower libido as a side effect. Common groups include:
- SSRIs and other antidepressants
- Anti-anxiety meds (some can dampen arousal)
- Blood pressure medications
- Opioids (often reduce testosterone and drive)
- Some hair loss treatments (for example, certain 5-alpha reductase inhibitors)
Don’t stop medications suddenly. If you suspect a med is affecting your sex drive, talk with the prescriber about options, like dose changes, timing, switching meds, or add-on strategies.
Substances matter too. Heavy alcohol can blunt arousal, worsen sleep, and increase performance worries. Frequent cannabis use may affect motivation, mood, and sleep in some men, and it can become the main coping tool for stress, which can indirectly lower libido. Cigarette smoking can harm circulation, which can affect sexual response and confidence.
Poor sleep and sleep apnea
Sleep is a quiet driver of libido. Lack of sleep raises stress hormones and lowers energy, and it can reduce testosterone over time. Even one short night can make desire feel distant the next day.
Sleep apnea is especially important because it’s common and underdiagnosed. Signs include loud snoring, gasping or choking during sleep, morning headaches, daytime sleepiness, and nocturnal voiding. If you share a bed, ask your partner what they notice. If those signs fit, bring it up with a clinician.
For a clear clinical explanation of decreased libido and how doctors evaluate it, the Merck Manual overview of decreased libido in men is useful.
Mental health and emotional causes that lower sex drive
The brain is a major sex organ. When your mind is overloaded or your mood is low, sexual desire often takes a back seat. That’s not weakness, it’s biology. Stress chemicals and threat scanning crowd out pleasure and connection.
Mental health causes are also “real” causes. They can change hormones, sleep, appetite, and how safe your body feels. The good news is that even small steps can help.
Stress, burnout, and constant pressure
Elevated stress levels flip the body into survival mode. In that mode, sex can feel like another task, not a want. Real-life triggers are everywhere: work deadlines, money worries, conflict at home, a new baby, caring for parents, or nonstop travel.
Quick wins you can try this week:
- Put 15 minutes of downtime on the calendar, like an appointment
- Do a short walk most days, even 10 minutes helps
- Reduce late-night screen time so your body can wind down
Depression and anxiety (including performance anxiety)
Depression often reduces pleasure and motivation, which can make libido drop even if you love your partner. Anxiety can create a loop: worry about performance anxiety leads to avoidance, avoidance increases pressure, and the pressure lowers desire even more.
Therapy can help, and medication adjustments can help when antidepressants contribute to low libido. If you’re in a relationship, communication lowers the temperature fast:
- Say what’s true without blaming, like “I’m stressed and my body isn’t responding.”
- Ask for low-pressure intimacy, like kissing or cuddling, without making it a test.
Porn, masturbation habits, and unrealistic expectations
This topic can get judgmental fast, so keep it simple. Some men notice lower interest in partnered sex when porn becomes the main outlet, or when arousal depends on a very specific pattern (certain scenes, speed, novelty, or secrecy). That doesn’t mean porn is “bad,” it means your brain can learn a narrow route to arousal.
A practical experiment: take a short reset (2 to 4 weeks), reduce porn, and focus on real-life intimacy and body cues. If porn use feels compulsive or hard to control, that’s a good reason to seek counseling or other professional support.
Relationship and lifestyle reasons, and when to get help
Libido doesn’t live in a vacuum. Connection, routine, and self-image matter. Even when health and hormones are fine, relationship stress or daily habits can quietly lower desire.
For a straightforward overview of low libido and common evaluation steps, Cleveland Clinic’s low libido resource can help you understand what a medical visit might look like.
Relationship tension, low connection, and poor communication
Desire struggles in the face of relationship problems like resentment, unresolved conflict, or frequent criticism. Many couples fall into a trap where sex becomes a scoreboard. That makes intimacy feel risky.
Try practical, low-drama moves:
- Pick a calm time to talk, not during or after rejection
- Use “I” statements, like “I miss feeling close to you”
- Plan low-pressure closeness (cuddling, kissing, massage) with no expectation it must lead to sex
Lifestyle habits that quietly reduce libido (low activity, poor diet, weight changes)
Libido likes steady basics: movement, strength, light, and regular meals. You don’t need a perfect plan. You need repeatable lifestyle changes.
A realistic starting point:
- Two short physical activity sessions focused on strength per week
- A daily walk for stress and blood flow
- More protein and fiber at meals, fewer late-night heavy snacks
- Cut back alcohol consumption, especially on weeknights
Rapid weight gain or loss can shift hormones and body image, impacting self-esteem, which can reduce desire even if your relationship is strong.
When low libido is a medical red flag and what to do next
Book a visit if any of these apply:
- Sudden onset of low sex drive, or low libido that lasts more than 2 to 3 months
- Sexual dysfunction such as erectile problems, pain with sex, or loss of morning erections
- Fertility concerns
- Depression symptoms, panic, or high anxiety
- Recent medication change
- Signs of low testosterone or possible sleep apnea
Before your appointment, track: sleep hours, stress level, alcohol and cannabis use, new meds, and symptoms (energy, mood, erectile dysfunction). A clinician may consider labs like total testosterone to check for low testosterone (often morning), thyroid tests, blood sugar, lipids, and other tests based on your history.
Short action plan: pick one sleep improvement, one movement habit, and one honest conversation this week, then schedule medical follow-up if symptoms persist.
Conclusion
The common causes of low libido in men usually fall into three buckets: health and body factors, mental and emotional strain, and relationship or lifestyle issues. More than one cause is common, so it helps to think in patterns, not blame.
Start with low-risk steps you can control, better sleep, less heavy drinking, more movement, and calmer connection with your partner. If your low sex drive is sudden, lasting, or paired with other symptoms, get a medical check-in and bring clear notes. With the right support and a simple plan, low libido and sexual desire can improve, and many men feel like themselves again.